Bones & SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
Sante Fe, NM
Georgia O’Keeffe’s found snake skeleton in bench; Replica from her home
My spiritual awakening kicked off this year off with the theme of "nothing actually matters." As I sat on the bed at my Airbnb, rocking back and forth (not the crazy way, but the meditation vibe), I was shaken to my core. Because truly, when this lifetime on Mother Gaia wraps itself up, nothing actually matters. So, why was I not living my life according to what I wanted, instead I was living according to societal standards? Where did these standards even come from anyway? But most importantly, what were my standards?
Years prior, I began my journey to find happiness. I had hit my very rock bottom: suicidal ideations. What was happiness? How did people have this, and why didn't I? *Enter my journey of self-growth, self-love, and my spirituality (more on these later). * This journey involved uncovering a lot of my bones in my closet or what some people call shadows or their subconscious. I stripped away so much of myself that I started to ask my friends about me; I was lost, a skeletal version of myself.
I thirsted for a freedom I never knew, an escape from society. I had to rediscover my truth: who was I at my core? So, I quit my 10-year career as an attorney and went on a solo expedition: a Southwestern road trip. The intention was to reconnect to myself and to Mother Gaia. Gaia did not disappoint; She displayed her beauty & intricacies, in such an intimate way, allowing me to see the connections to humankind...human nature.
My trip ended at the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum in Sante Fe, not by accident as I believe the Universe is always guiding us and showing us what we need. I shared Georgia's intimacy with nature. However, I never knew of her fascination with bones, wearing black, and her love for dark landscapes. I felt a deep connection to her...and to myself. Why had I been so ashamed of who I was? Why was I so worried about what others thought of me? A wave of relief washed over me as I finally accepted myself for all that I am, exactly how the Universe made me.